Friday, March 28, 2014

The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Trailer Is... A Trailer

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I'm trying to not be that geek that posts something only to bitch and moan about it. The Internet is chock full of that guy and damn I want to be more than that.

So in that spirit, I'm going to watch the trailer for the Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and try not to be an overt hater. Okay, then...


Oh, boy. This going to be harder than I thought... Alright, let's be constructive.

Who is This Movie For?
Kids? Adults? People who like to watch Megan Fox look at things in confusion? This looks to suffer from one of the same problems Bay's Transformers suffers from and that's not having a clear idea who the target audience is. TMNT works for both kids and adults, but I don't know that you can mix both like the trailer appears to indicate the movie has done.


What is it About?

Besides being about four (I'm assuming four as the trailer didn't even make that clear) anthropomorphic turtles/ martial arts enthusiasts? Why is the city falling apart? Is that just what crime looks like in the city? Who is Ms. O'Neil and why should I care about her? Is the creepy naked guy from the movie "Go" the bad guy? Why should I care about any of this?


WHAT ARE THOSE ABOMINATIONS AT THE END?! 

That's not me being a purist as the turtles' look has evolved over the years. That's me being JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT?! That close up of Michelangelo at the end bothered me in that special way that the idea of my parents having sex bothers me; wrong, unnatural, and gross.

Anywho, what did you think?

3 comments:

  1. I was so proud of my wife when I showed her this trailer. It starts out, and she says "uh oh.....Michael Bay....."

    She's learned so much. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. As you know, I tend to roll my eyes at fanboy "you're ruining my childhood!"-ism. (And well done trying not to perpetuate that further.) With that in mind, I agree with Dorkly on this one: http://www.dorkly.com/article/61062/every-version-of-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-ruined-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles

    ReplyDelete
  3. With the tone of the trailer, I was looking for an OSCORP logo in there somewhere.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.